Party Time

Somewhere in Kingsland...
Yesterday The Kamona celebrated flatmate Natalie's birthday with a late night supper (10pm) replete with ice-cream cake.







"Is my face alright? I think it's melted off!" - School of Rock (2003).


























Other events:
Yellowbath time















Flatmates watching TV in Chris' room while he is out














Murray: Jemaine?
Jemaine: Present.
Murray: Who else have we got here...Brett?
Brett: Yip.









A personal gym was delivered to our house, although nobody ordered it.

















Chris spent lots of money on fireworks
















And the guru was anonymously re-established, perhaps as inappropriately as before.

De Bidness

Somewhere in Kingsland...
Tonight we had red Thai curry for tea. After a civilised meal - the word 'willy' was only mentioned twice - Paul had revelation. "You know Bam-Bam, from the Flintstones," he remarked suddenly after Chris banged his empty bowl down on the table, "you're new name is Slam-Slam. You slam everything. You're a slammer."

This is true. Chris is an early riser, leaving the Kamona at 6am on weekdays and the way he walks and his door-slamming have been a point of contention at most flat meetings:

Earlier in the year, flat gathered on back porch. Paul holds a list. In the days of french flatmate, Francois.

Paul: Another thing I want to mention is your door-slamming, Chris.

Chris sighs, tilts his head backwards on top of couch.

Chris: Yip.

Paul: So far you've been pretty good but it's getting out of control. I can hear you when you walk down the hall in the morning, you walk on your heels.

Chris: Yip.

Paul: You just need to close the door normally.

Chris: Nkay. [Ends]

"You know," continued Paul, "one day you're going to slam the door so hard when you leave that all the other doors - I can see it, like in the cartoon movies - all the other doors are just going to go 'kaput' [mimes doors falling flat with hands] and there'll be no more flat, no more Kamona. We'll have to pitch tents. And you can slam the door of your tent."

To cap it all off the poster of the guru had to be taken down after causing offense to Paul's guitar student, Chris got snot all over his hands at the dinner table and the back porch looks 'derelict' due to Will's new couch/chilly-bin-thrown-in-for-free and Chris' second-hand bike with pink 'Series 3000' helmet plus all the other couches and bits of junk.

"We're back..."

Somewhere in Kingsland...

On an otherwise ordinary Saturday night at the Kamona, I distinctly heard the voice of Murray in the hallway. "Good," I thought, "he must be OK." A closed front door for two days straight had us thinking the worst. Perhaps we would have to go and visit gang HQ itself, although not for a few weeks at least, until we felt ready to handle communication again. Murray's latest revelation could explain closed doors however: there's a lady living there now. "Mary," says Murray. "A very Christian lady. John's fallen for her."
I noticed that John didn't stop for long when we crossed paths on the Morningside train tracks yesterday...










On another note, Chris vacuumed in the weekend, Ellen loves us and Blake turned 19, but is now deceased.











"Dear Flatmates,
Just would like to say that you are all my favourites and I could not wish for a more creative, funny, considerate, uplifting, talented, inspiring bunch to live with and I love you all!!!
Ellen :) (sic)."

Meanwhile...

Somewhere in Kingsland...

Things have remained mysteriously quiet at Murray and John's house today, with the door being closed since yesterday evening.

Ye Olde Chuck Taylors

Somewhere in Kingsland...

Several months ago, after quitting my cafe job, I fished my Chuck Taylors out of the trash and threw them up on the power lines outside The Kamona, with the help of Willy (first attempt). Don't get me wrong - I love Chucks and would pick them any day of the week over Le Coq Sportif, or a pair of Onitsuka Tigers, for example. But now, every time I go out on the street I am reminded that I am never going to work in a cafe AGAIN.








History: The Kamona was once home to a local unit of The Mongrel Mob in the mid-80s. Part of their income required a hydroponics lab which operated in the wardrobe of one of the bedrooms. It is rumoured that the cannabis plants were growing right up into the roof, due to the removal of the wardrobe's false ceiling. In the 80s, a pair of Chuck Taylors caught in the power lines was a signal that a drug dealer lived nearby and if you waited beneath the shoes you could score a deal. However this is not the case with today's residents of The Kamona.




The removable ceiling.

Shopping

Somewhere in Kingsland...

Flat shopping occurs weekly at the Kamona and is divided up by five of us who eat together. We usually spend $35-$40 each per week which generally covers all of our meals. We take it in turns to do the shop at Foodtown, Silver Bell in Dominion Rd, Pak N Save Mt Albert or a mixture of them all. When the shopper returns home whoever is around must help unpack the food. Last week when there were no parks outside the flat, Chris parked in the middle of the street and unloaded the food onto the side of the road. This upset traffic coming in the opposite direction.







Treats: As a rule, treats aren't permitted on the flat account. But rent paid regularly and a bit of goodwill generally permits the flat account to absorb some party items and treats. Treats can be subjective, however. To some, yoghurt or herbal teas are seen as a need but are considered a treat by others. Similarly, girls tend to favour certain treats over boys and vice versa, such as yoghurt over ice-cream or bread over Anzac biscuits.






Shopping on specials.

Minor Characters

Somewhere in Kingsland...
The Kamona is known for its hospitality and mostly-open door policy. As a result, it is host to a string of minor characters.

Murray
Occupation: conspirator
Girlfriend: unknown. Weapons: unknown.
Quotes: "I called my cousin a tree once." "D'ya see what Treescape did to that tree down there?" "Can I come in for a coffee?"

Murray lives across the road, two doors down in a house he shares with John. Geoff used to live there until he poured transmission fluid into the water tank of John's son's car. Geoff "ran the place like a gang-house," according to Murray. Visitors can see themselves on the CCTV operating just inside the front door, beneath a sign that says, "You're on camera."

Maddy
Occupation: pet. Pets: 0. Quotes: "Get your hands off me." "Ratfink!"
Maddy belongs to Paul and is approx. two years old. She has put on weight in recent times. There are several theories for this, one of them being that she doesn't fight other neighbourhood cats anymore, so she doesn't get sick. Paul had to spend a lot of money on Maddy after she was badly wounded in a fight. "If you want to lose money, buy a cat," he once said.








Dramatis Personae:
Tomato Sauce 6.5kg














Bonfire

Quotes: "Stop that party. I'm calling the cops" - back neighbour, quasi-left. "No more bonfires, none of that." - landlord (post Chris' party).







Chore Wheel
"If you have not done your chore this week you MUST do it by the end of the week. Its (sic) NOT fair on other flatmates. Play fair." Note left on fridge, circa August 2010. Capitals included.









Blake
Occupation: teacher. Age: 16. Girlfriend: 0. Points: 3490 (28/10/2010).