Welcome to the Kamona, a flat in Kingsland, Auckland. Follow its bunch of six, happy-go-lucky flatters as they navigate a journey between the pitfalls of the flat budget, "vegetarians vs. carnivores" and how to live in general harmony with one another. "Together, we're better, we're better, together." - 28 Days.
The Kamona's firepit was dismantled early this afternoon following recent disagreements from neighbours and the landlord over its safety. 
"It's good to get it [the firepit] out of the way," says Paul, leaseholder. 
The firepit also posed an environmental risk, with burning plastic creating a "toxic cloud" at a party two years ago. 
Meanwhile Murray has been landscaping the property, leaving a trail of devastation in his wake. 
Yesterday The Kamona celebrated flatmate Natalie's birthday with a late night supper (10pm) replete with ice-cream cake.
Other events:
Flatmates watching TV in Chris' room while he is out
Chris spent lots of money on fireworks
And the guru was anonymously re-established, perhaps as inappropriately as before.
Tonight we had red Thai curry for tea. After a civilised meal - the word 'willy' was only mentioned twice - Paul had revelation. "You know Bam-Bam, from the Flintstones," he remarked suddenly after Chris banged his empty bowl down on the table, "you're new name is Slam-Slam. You slam everything. You're a slammer."
To cap it all off the poster of the guru had to be taken down after causing offense to Paul's guitar student, Chris got snot all over his hands at the dinner table and the back porch looks 'derelict' due to Will's new couch/chilly-bin-thrown-in-for-free and Chris' second-hand bike with pink 'Series 3000' helmet plus all the other couches and bits of junk.
On an otherwise ordinary Saturday night at the Kamona, I distinctly heard the voice of Murray in the hallway. "Good," I thought, "he must be OK." A closed front door for two days straight had us thinking the worst. Perhaps we would have to go and visit gang HQ itself, although not for a few weeks at least, until we felt ready to handle communication again. Murray's latest revelation could explain 
closed doors however: there's a lady living there now. "Mary," says Murray. "A very Christian lady. John's fallen for her."
On another note, Chris vacuumed in the weekend, Ellen loves us and Blake turned 19, but is now deceased.
"Dear Flatmates,
Things have remained mysteriously quiet at Murray and John's house today, with the door being closed since yesterday evening.
Several months ago, after quitting my cafe job, I fished my Chuck Taylors out of the trash and threw them up on the power lines outside The Kamona, with the help of Willy (first attempt). Don't get me wrong - I love Chucks and would pick them any day of the week over Le Coq Sportif, or a pair of Onitsuka Tigers, for example. But now, every time I go out on the street I am reminded that I am never going to work in a cafe AGAIN.
History: The Kamona was once home to a local unit of The Mongrel Mob in the mid-80s. Part of their income required a hydroponics lab which operated in the wardrobe of one of the bedrooms. It is rumoured that the cannabis plants were growing right up into the roof, due to the removal of the wardrobe's false ceiling. In the 80s, a pair of Chuck Taylors caught in the power lines was a signal that a drug dealer lived nearby and if you waited beneath the shoes you could score a deal. However this is not the case with today's residents of The Kamona. 
The removable ceiling.
We usually spend $35-$40 each per week which generally covers all of our meals. We take it in turns to do the shop at Foodtown, Silver Bell in Dominion Rd, Pak N Save Mt Albert or a mixture of them all. When the shopper returns home whoever is around must help unpack the food. Last week when there were no parks outside the flat, Chris parked in the middle of the street and unloaded the food onto the side of the road. This upset traffic coming in the opposite direction. 
Treats: As a rule, treats aren't permitted on the flat account. But rent paid regularly and a bit of goodwill generally permits the flat account to absorb some party items and treats. Treats can be subjective, however. To some, yoghurt or herbal teas are seen as a need but are considered a treat by others. Similarly, girls tend to favour certain treats over boys and vice versa, such as yoghurt over ice-cream or bread over Anzac biscuits.
Shopping on specials.
Occupation: conspirator
Occupation: pet. Pets: 0. Quotes: "Get your hands off me." "Ratfink!"
"If you have not done your chore this week you MUST do it by the end of the week. Its (sic) NOT fair on other flatmates. Play fair." Note left on fridge, circa August 2010. Capitals included.
Occupation: teacher. Age: 16. Girlfriend: 0. Points: 3490 (28/10/2010).
Nicknames: Elly
Nicknames: Big Willy Stylez; Willy Dub Stylez: "Original Selector"
Nicknames: B, Lil' B, B-real, B-rock
Nicknames: Nat, Psycho Nat
Nicknames: Chris
